Friday, October 5, 2012

You Are a Person, Not a Perfect

 “A person's a person, no matter how small.”

I love Horton Hears a Who! The story resonates with me deeply. I place great  importance on the concept that  all living creatures have a purpose and that life is meaningful.  Being a kind and empathetic person is something I find necessary for all people to possess to be truly happy in life.  I have this thought process and it works something like this: physical appearance and intelligence, you are born with,  but compassion, love, and kindness, you are taught. When you are old, it doesn't matter how attractive you were, how smart you were, how successful you were, if you aren't a genuinely nice person, you will find yourself without real friends. It is my goal to raise nice, giving, contributing members of society. 

On a day to day basis, this can be hard to remember. Especially when you are me and your focus is often sucked into what can I accomplish, get done, achieve today? What will make me good enough? What will get me closer to being perfect?

I don't want my sons to have the perfect demon inside of them that I fight daily;  the idea that they need to do it perfect, act perfect, and feel perfect. We are all unique. We have our strengths and our weaknesses and as a Mom I feel the need to remove expectation from what my children will accomplish and achieve. I want most for them to be truly happy and to bring joy to others in whatever they do. I want them to be authentic and connect with the human experience we are all having. To be able to accomplish that, they must have the ability to love, to be caring, and most of all, to be empathetic.

That sounds so fluffy and pretty.

In practice this is a challenge! In order to teach this to them, I must model these behaviors.  When you pick your kid up from school and he has his behavior checked off for squirming too much and not paying attention for the third time this week, and your other child has pooped all over your floor twice in one day because he needs to be potty trained to go to his school and is refusing, and they are fighting with each other and acting so selfish, it is easy to lose it.

However, I have decided to try something new. When Bean came home with a level 1, I didn't tell him he needed to do better.
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