Friday, August 31, 2012

First Day of Kindergarten

How is it that time moves so fast through the moments you want it to be still? The moments in your life where you want to separate yourself as a participant and an observer so you can really take it all in and never forget. Kindergarten is here. I didn't get the memo. I know there are Moms who are so excited, "Kindergarten is here, finally!"

 I am not one of them. I didn't realize this was going to be hard for me (I know my Mom is reading this and laughing), maybe I am the only one that didn't realize this, but I feel like I really just closed a priceless chapter and I am not sure I was ready.

Being a Mom though, I put on my biggest smile, and got my baby big boy ready for kindergarten. I set him up for a great first day. I read him a book the night before about kindergarten, made him a sign, took his picture, took a short video of him, calmed all his worries, walked him to his classroom, helped him make friends with the adorable little girl standing in line next to him, and handed the most important thing in the world to me into the hands of another person.

Then the rest of us walked back to the car. One of the school employees on hall duty, asked us if we were ok, and Rock looked at her like yeah why wouldn't we be and said "yes"

As he walked by I looked back and said to her "He totally doesn't get it." We drove home minus one and I cried a little.

I had a million things to do, but I simply sat in front of my computer and stared into space while thoughts rushed through my head... is he scared, has he made friends, is he going to get picked on, is he going to make it back out of the bathroom dressed, and the thought I just could not shake ...  is kindergarten going to be so hard on him that the sweetest most gentle being I have ever met in my life, disappears as he tries desperately to fit in and adapt to the environment of school.

Now I know that sounds extreme, and I am sure a great deal of this angst comes from my experience in kindergarten with the meanest teacher who ever lived.

 If you couldn't recite your address, you had to go sit in jail in the corner and she said things that made you feel horrible. I can only imagine how those kids felt. If we were going on a vacation (who wanted to go on vacation with that bitch anyway), and you couldn't think of something to take on this vacation with the letter of the day she ridiculed you.  God forbid you peed your pants! I had a boy friend in kindergarten, I was totally smitten about. He was a lefty just like me and we were both in for it because of our penmanship alone. I wanted to grow up and marry him one day and I remember things she did to him that were mean, and I hated her even more. I tried so hard to do everything "right" to avoid this horrid woman but  it was inevitable I would fail. For one thing I absolutely loved talking more than I do now, and that doesn't work in any classroom let alone hers.

One day I did not have my backpack. I was hysterical. I never wanted to be noticed by this woman. I sat there and longed for my minnie mouse backpack to come flying through the door. The only reason I even remember what my backpack looked like was because of this day I sat longing for its arrival. She was irritated I was crying about this. I remember when my mom cracked open that door. I can still see my backpack as it was slowly placed on the floor in my classroom, and I was saved.

Then there was the day of the bomb drill, yes we did those on Long Island in the 80s, and I had forgotten that was what we were doing this particular day. Seeing as she told us all about the drill earlier, I was expected not to forget. Well when I heard the bell, I went to my cubby and started to put my boots on because I thought I was going home.

Oh BIG mistake. I can still remember her yelling at me "What are you doing?" "Get those boots off and your shoes back on. Hurry up and get in the hallway."She was so pissed. Of course now i was scared shitless and this was making it worse because I wasn't moving fast enough.

I hated her and I hated school because I associated her with school. It is not surprising my migraines got worse that year, I contracted pneumonia right before Thanksgiving, and the worst case of chicken pox you have ever seen in the Spring. I had to find someway to get out of that place!

Bean's teacher has a beautiful smile and a big heart. She likes him as far as I can tell. When I picked him up from school "Mommy I missed you more than anyone has ever missed you, but I had soo much fun at school!"

"Bean I am so happy you had fun at school, but I might have missed you a little more than you missed me."

"No Mommy I missed you the mostest ever."

"I love you Bean."

"I love you too Mommy so much in my heart."

I think kindergarten isn't going to be that bad, besides he can't have the most horrid teacher ever, because I already did!

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Friday, August 3, 2012

Helmet Boy

Tadpole has fallen on his head so many times this past month, that he has been resigned to wearing a bike helmet. Do you see how happy he is about this? 

The first fall, his feet slipped from underneath him in a store with wet floors, and he landed flat on the back of his head. The other day while we were getting ready for the zoo he ran full force into the door frame and hit his temple. If you read the Three Ring Circus post then you know all about the fall at the YMCA pool. I finally lost it when he tripped in the YMCA child watch and once again hit his head.  As a Mom I just cringe every time I hear that thud followed by that delay all kids have before they scream with everything they have in them.

So after all of these falls, I took him to the pediatrician. I had watched him for signs and symptoms of a concussion, but I wanted her to look in his ears and everything and document that I did in fact take him for medical treatment. She insisted I stick him in a helmet for the rest of the month. So be on the lookout for a very unhappy little boy in a dinosaur helmet. 

I took him to the store and let him pick out his helmet but he still  hates it! He pretty much spends the entire time whining "I want this off." "Take it off PLEASE MOMMY!" 
He has figured out how to remove it so I have to tape the clip shut and still I find him with it off.  I completely get the pediatrician's reasoning and had thought about a helmet on my own, only she doesn't live with Tadpole who is now completely miserable. 

Yesterday evening,  I could not take it anymore, I packed the boys up and took them down to the beach. I picked a beach without any rocks and let him run around in the sand. This was the only time he was happy yesterday. FREEDOM!! 

My poor little man's noggin!

Happy Friday Everyone! Thanks for stopping by and sharing in our adventures! 

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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Warrior Woman, Gym Rat WHAT???

I suppose one really important part of my life, the time I spend exercising, has not made it up on my blog very often. In my early blog posts, I used to add a brief synopsis of my daily exercise goals and back then, it was pretty much all about running. I have been a runner most of my life. I became injured from running in high school, started taking yoga classes and became a yoga instructor at 17. Yoga made it possible for me to run again and basically my fitness regime involved running and yoga.

Last year in nursing school, because 20 college credits and being the Mama of two small boys wasn't enough,  I entered the 911 fitness challenge with hubby and started lifting for the first time in my life. I was bored. I wanted to hate it. I decided I was doing it just for quality time with my hubby. It grew on me. I felt strong. It was challenging. Challenging is appealing to my innate personality.  I don't want to admit it but... I love it.

OK, there I said it. What, you can't read that font size?  Well then, for further clarification,  "I am a gym rat."

 I don't know how it happened, but there is something about lifting that is empowering. I feel strong, and I love it. One of my favorite parts of the day is heading to the YMCA, seeing all the friendly familiar faces, racking my weights, and challenging myself to do better than the last time.

The weight training was a little short lived because I had been having issues with my hip since Tadpole was born and the pain was getting unmanageable. I stopped every form of exercise this past October, and made a commitment to healing my body. I went to physical therapy and followed all of the rules. My physical therapist told me if I stopped exercising he was convinced I could get better. At that point I was willing to do anything to reduce the pain. I had to grow a lot. I never realized how much my flexibility had become part of my ego. The physical therapist told me my flexibility and the laxity of my ligaments was my biggest issue and was why I had to let go of being gumby. I also had been experiencing so many health issues I started taking an objective look at my diet. Once again I had to let go of my ego, as I gave up my vegetarian lifestyle. I am slowly moving into a 100% primal diet. It has been mentally and spiritually challenging, but the physical benefits I can not deny.  I am finally not miserable all day suffering from chronic pain. My hip only bothers me sometimes now, which to me is nothing short of a miracle or a very dedicated physical therapist who had faith in my ability to heal and was patient enough to allow for this to happen. Since March, I have been back to lifting and light running, but still seeing my physical therapist.

After a few weeks in the gym, Rock and I decided to start a 12- week program, Jim Stoppani's 12-week shortcut to size. When Rock sent me this workout, the title alone freaked me out. See not too many married couples workout. A lot of people argue that men and women need to do different types of exercise. Besides a few differences that Rock and I work into the week, I am calling their bluff on this and saying it is one of the best things we do for our marriage. I compromised and gave the workout a go. I actually really enjoyed it and was happy with the results. I was reluctant to move on four weeks ago when we were finished with it.

When Rock came to me with the idea of doing a 5-3-1 program, which is a program focused around compound lifting, I was skeptical(sounds like a theme in this post). I realize we exercise at the Y, which is not a very accurate assessment of the gym world, but still, I am the only female at our gym that squats in the cage with real weight.
I read over the workout and looked at him "100 chinups/pull-ups a week??? Anywhere between 75-85 squats (including warm-up) a workout?"

I kept reading the rest and once again I decided to give it a go, because working out with Rock is better than working out alone. I am definitely the compromiser in our workout world seeing as he has yet to take up running with me.

So far, this workout kicks ass and in 3 short weeks I am able to do 4 consecutive chin-ups on my own so I guess doing 100 of them a week with assistance really is paying off. I squat like a champ and I think if we ever get around to baby number 3 I am going to be able to squat and catch my own baby like a birth Goddess (if your wondering where that came from, then you are new to this blog, and you don't know that I am a doula and an aspiring midwife) Most importantly,  I feel stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually.

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