While I am at my parents I have been running on the treadmill, which got me thinking about how lonely it is running without my boys. I've been running with a baby jogger for three years now. When I go on a run without my children, I feel like I left my legs behind or something.
One particular evening about a month ago, I really wasn't in the mood to run and it was so windy out but I knew I would be happy when I finished. I was actually going to go out running alone because of the wind, but Bean insisted on coming. I loaded him up in the jogger with snacks, a drink, and books. It was so windy that the jogger was moving with the wind, so the resistance when running against the wind, was intense. Every 2 minutes, Bean was insisting I stop the jogger.
"Mommy here, I am done with my juice."
"Mommy a kitty cat"
"Mommy I need...."
"Mommy look...."
The only people I will stop for when I am running are my boys. They hold a very special place in my heart, but it is hard to stop and start and stop and start and talk to Bean most of the time. It is physically draining. On a normal day, I can hear him while I am running and answer some questions but on this day with the wind, I couldn't tell if he was just talking, or if he needed something.
After 3 miles, I stopped back off at the house for my water bottle outside, and told Bean he could go inside and play if he wanted, but I wasn't quite finished. He insisted on staying with me. We made it maybe 100 feet and I here "MA " and I can't hear the rest because of the wind. More of Bean talking but I can't hear anything. Now I am physically exhausted running in all of this wind and I just want to finish and I can't take it anymore...
"Bean I can't hear you because of the wind, WHAT DO YOU NEED AND IF IT IS NOTHING CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TTTAAALLLKIIINNNGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I look up and in front of me is a family outside of their house. The woman is with the dog trainer walking the family dog. The father is in the driveway with two boys that appear to be the same ages as my two boys. The first thought in my head was .... "Don't stare at me like I am some selfish mommy who only cares about her exercise, I want credit for the 15 times I have stopped and quietly and calmly accommodated every single one of his little requests." " I want credit, CREDIT!!!!!!!!!" The second thought in my head was "wonderful, I finally find a family with kids close in age to mine, and they are NEVER going to hang out with us now!
Gratitude List
* my parents
* friends
* chai tea
*hope
*sleeping in this morning thanks to my Mom
Running: Saturday I ran 5 miles and Sunday I ran 4 miles for speed. I have taken the rest of the week off with visiting Birmingham and everything else. I have been working on those pull-ups too.Pin It
Thanks for being such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteAnd the 'new family' is still a family... I'm sure they get it.
Kudos girl! You deserve them.
Nicole