Fast forward two years and we start casually potty training. What I mean by casual is I wasn't going to force him, just encourage him to sit on the toilet and I figured it would magically happen. It never magically happened and after Tadpole was born, it got worse. Bean decided he wasn't going anymore, not in a diaper not on the toilet, not anywhere. He was standing his ground and taking control of the one thing he could. I read once that bringing home a new baby to your child is like your partner bringing home a new spouse. " I liked you so much honey we got another one of you." Waddling around the house like a penguin holding it in I wanted to laugh and cry at Bean all at the same time. The only place he couldn't help himself was at the playground running around so you would hear me a little overwhelmed with Poop boy and a brand new baby begging someone " TAKE HIM TO THE SLIDE SO HE WILL POOP! I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE THIS CHILD AN ENEMA!"
Rewards did not work. Bean could list off to you all the wonderful things he would get if he pooped in the toilet, but he just did not care. I tried everything and read everything written about this subject imaginable. I put him back in diapers figuring we would try at a later date, but he didn't want to go in them either.
Months of this started to take its toll. Exhausted and on the verge of losing it I decided that he was 3 and it was time and I had run out of ideas. We were going to hibernate in the house until he went to the bathroom. It wasn't working. The day he finally went I thought in my head I might be damaging him for life, but I was concerned about all of this withholding and constipation. I sat him on the toilet and said "you can get off when you poop." I read every story he owned, hugged him, sang to him, and wanted to cry so hard, but I knew he needed to do this and I realized like many things with parenting my spirited child, this was never going to happen easily. Finally bribing him with cookies worked, it was like we were birthing a baby together "want another bite, take a deep breath and push, it was one of my hardest parenting days. Afterward, he was so proud of himself. I was relieved he doesn't hate me. I bought and did everything I had promised; a fish, ice cream, a trip to the zoo, a ride on the train at the mall, a giant cookie. We are still having issues.
When he needs to use the toilet you can tell because he starts acting evil. It is as if his brain shuts and he just can't control his behavior. I constantly am repeating "Bean just POOP PLEASE"
"No"
When he decides to finally go he is so happy he tells everyone about it.
"Mommy Mommy I made two poops in the toilet." "A little one and a big one" "It was SOO big." "Makes mommy SOOO happy, and Daddy SOOO happy and baby Tadpole sooo happy.
Runs up to Tadpole "Baby Tadpole Baby Tadpole and repeats above all over again.
I do believe if you sit back and be patient long enough, you will be rewarded in some way for your hard work as a parent. About a month ago I got my Poop reward and it was great! Bean was sitting on the toilet with Daddy, because I just wasn't in the mood for it. I could hear them going through the whole production andBean talking the whole time. Every night before Bean goes to bed he says to me "Let me look at your eyes." " I need to see them." " Your eyes are blue like mine."
He is on the toilet having this conversation about his blue eyes and mommy's blue eyes and how they are the same. He finally poops and now he is focused on his "big poop etc. and looks at Daddy and says "Daddy the big poop is brown, just like your eyes." I am laughing so hard and I hear from the bathroom.
" I bet your Mother is going to love that one" and love it I did.
No running/pull-ups today was a resting day.
Gratitude List
* a new friend
* a new dragonfly to hang from my tree
* Tadpole's kissy noises
* Bean's way of always telling me how pretty I am all on his own fills my heart with joy
* the awesome presence of God
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