Our family has been dealing with a lot the past few months. Lots of stress with Rock's job, finances, fighting for Bean's OT/PT services, our exchange student returned home to China(hopefully she is coming back in August), and way too many colds and infections! I alone had an eye infection that lasted for over 3 weeks and became systemic. The time really has brought us closer, but I am really needing a breather!
Bean had his adenoidectomy this past Tuesday, and I must say the stress of having medical procedures done to your children after completing nursing school, is WORSE! Not only are all the worries running through my head that a Mom has, but nursing thoughts are running through my head..."what drugs, and nothing extra that will relax his muscles more, he is hypotonic...I hope he is an easy stick because they are putting him under BEFORE his IV...please don't let my child be the 1 in 5000-50,000 with a genetic variation putting him at risk for malignant hyperthermia...please wash your hands...please be super sure you are using amazing sterile technique I don't want a post-op infection in my child... please please please just remember that your job is unlike many other jobs in the world, and I who trust no one with my child's life am putting him in YOUR hands."
Plus, you are acutely aware of all the germs on EVERYTHING in a hospital, you no longer feel "safe" there, you know it is a plus full of sick people and germs. So the entire time we are waiting for his procedure "Bean don't touch your face, do not stick your fingers near your nose let me get you a tissue from my bag instead, Rock please put some foam on that toy he just dropped ON THE FLOOR AHHHH!" Saying all of this as calm as can be because Bean is scared.
I have walked him through this whole process in 5yr old terms and assured him so many times how great the dr is, and how we will be right here. How his surgery won't hurt. I believe in honesty and I am not a fan of surprising children and causing them to be very anxious. I told him he might not feel well afterwards, and that he might have pain but that we were going to be right there taking care of him. So hard when all of the above is going through your head, but I am good at being empathetic.
The only thing I never doubt about my future endeavors of nursing and becoming a midwife is my ability to truly care for people and be empathetic. I have been a patient enough and I refuse to EVER become burnt out.
Watching them wheel my child off for surgery-was not fun, and this was nothing major. My heart goes out to all of those parents who have to do this much more frequently. It really is true once you are a mother your heart really does walk outside of your body! I was reminded again why I doubt I will ever go into pediatric nursing, watching Bean come out of anesthesia crying and telling me he is going to die, just isn't my cup of tea!! Liam is home and recovering, and I am so happy things went well.
* For the sake of all the mother's out there that do not know all the medical terms I was OCDing about I didn't put it in plain English like an effective good nurse should, because I am saving you from worrying about so many hypothetical things. I am not promoting "ignorance is bliss" mentality as I am a huge believer and advocate of TRUE informed consent(being completely aware of what medical procedure is being performed and the risks involved), but at some point there is this place where you must let go and have faith because “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” - Corrie Ten Boom
Oh and in the packet we got from the Dr.'s office discussing his procedure, in an attempt to calm parents' worries, they compare the risks associated with anestheisa to 340 elevator trips... when was the last time anyone saw something in the paper about elevator disasters, I've read plenty about surgeries gone wrong, am I missing something I need to know about???
So as I head off to bed at peace that my son is asleep safe in his bed, one last thought enters my mind as we face this rough week ahead....