As I lie in bed sick (again) writing this post, I am not sure what to say about 2013 besides, "What a roller coaster, and I am glad the ride is over!"
I could easily and have on many occasions complained a great deal about this year, however there is a great deal to be thankful for as well. I think I have finally gotten really close to learning the lesson of acceptance. Many times I repeated over and over in my head something one of the priests in my church said during his sermon: "Lean back. Let go. Let God." So many circumstances this past year were completely out of my control. I was forced to live in the present. I was forced to face many truths. I was forced to do a lot of nothing. I was forced to make some very difficult decisions. I was forced to miss out on a lot. I was forced to spend a lot of time with myself. I was forced to deal with my limitations, but I chose to grow, and that I am thankful for.
I do not want to repeat this year over again, but I would never wish it away. Every time I found myself at my limit, scared and crying, wishing I could be somewhere and someone else, a blessing appeared.
At the beginning of the year, a friend invited her friends to join her in keeping a gratitude jar all year, and at the end of the year we would get together and share them. I joined in on this endeavor and although we never got together as a group because this friend moved away, I thought I would share the gist of what I filled my jar up with this year.
*Sisterhood- I really learned the value and importance of sisterhood and how loved I am by the women in my life. These really awesome women showed up even when I did not want to be where I was. They chose to be there, for me. They saved me on several occasions from losing the little bit of dignity I still had, and I am so blessed they are in my life. They made me laugh and kept me entertained. They cried with me when I was scared. They fed me. They kept me company. All I have to say is that I now know I have a few friends in my life who will even dump my pee because I could not do it myself. If you are a woman and a mother and you do not think you have time for friends, I suggest you make time for friendships like this.
*Family-I also learned about how awesome my family is. Although we are all crazy in our own strange ways, they have all come together and helped out over and over and put up with my crazy little immediate family and did not complain about all the sacrifices they have made to do so. I do not even want to imagine what this year would have been like without them. They really helped and took care of me, my kids, my home and all the tasks I normally do on a daily basis and then some. I am so lucky to be so loved and have such an awesome family.
*My husband- Although I would be lying if I said this year did not put a lot of strain on our marriage, I am amazed with how much we both have grown. We celebrated our seven year wedding anniversary this past January and I do not think our marriage would have survived what we went through this year when we were first married. I am thankful for how much he has grown and taken on this year. He has had to juggle work, a sick cranky wife, a surprise pregnancy, crazy women in my house aka my awesome friends (see above), the boys, bedtime, house chores, homework, cooking, transporting me and our children all over town, sleeping on makeshift beds in hospital rooms, late night trips to pharmacies, and lots and lots of waiting rooms. He has driven this hormonal woman nuts on more than one occasion, but I am very blessed for all that he has done to keep our family functioning through all of this.
*My Boys- my boys made me smile on so many occasions this year. If I wrote out everything about my boys that I put in my jar, this would be the longest post I have ever written and let's face it, they are already long. My boys have just been amazing through all of this chaos. They have heard the word "no" too many times this year, and the phrase "mommy doesn't feel well enough to do that." I hope this year is a very different story. They are such a blessing and I couldn't ask for more awesome lil men in my life.
* My daughter- I still am getting used to the fact that I have a daughter. This pregnancy was intense, and scary at times. The day I found out we were having a girl, was one day this year that I did not care how sick I felt. I was simply filled with joy. Having a healthy beautiful little baby is something I am so grateful for. Being able to make it to term this pregnancy, and birth my very healthy baby girl into my arms is nothing short of a miracle and I am grateful for everyone who took care of me along the way helping to make that moment possible. I don't think I have ever felt more blessed and full of joy than the day we were all home sitting around my dining room table eating cake and singing "Happy Birthday" to Wren.
So as much as 2013 could easily be a year to wish away, I am grateful for the blessings it has brought and I am grateful to be writing to you tonight wishing you all a Happy New Year and praying 2014 fills us all with an abundance of blessings! Thank you always for reading my ramblings!