Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Kiss My A$$

While I have been sick, we have had some very kind souls helping with chauffeuring me and my children all around. I must say I have learned that everyone has a unique driving style and like my mom constantly said to me when I was little "Just because you are thinking it, does not mean you have to say it."
 Some car trips stood out more than others. One particular car trip stood out not because of the driving, but because of how much I was laughing afterwards.

 I was being driven to physical therapy and all three kids were in the car. I was sitting in the passenger seat and to protect the privacy of the individual driving, I will refer to this person as the chauffeur for the remainder of this story. Well, traffic in South Florida is interesting to say the least.  We have commuter traffic, senior citizens, tourists, and teenagers on the road all at the same time, especially during the  winter a.k.a. snowbird season. It can get pretty intense. 

The boys were being dropped off at my father- in- law's, and they were excited about going there. Kids music was playing off my pandora station through the car speakers. Bean and Wren were in the middle row and Tadpole was all the way in the back row. The chauffeur and I were chatting and as usual, the drivers were being complete a$$es. The chauffeur had made a few comments in between our conversation like "real nice buddy" as we were being cut off and that sort of thing. I must say this particular  chauffeur  is quite calm as a person and a very safe driver, but one too many traffic incidences will start to wear on the best of drivers' nerves. 

The last straw was while were stopped at  the light at the railroad tracks in the  left turning lane when the light turned green. The car in front of us was not moving and the car behind us could not see that there was a car in front of us and the driver started going berserk and honking their horn. The  Chauffeur had had enough and clearly blurted out into the car, "Kiss my a$$"

The car became quieter as little ears in the back were processing this phrase, and Bean suddenly blurts out "THAT'S DISGUSTING!!"

The chauffeur is embarrassed and saying "Yes Bean, that is disgusting, and it is not a nice thing to say to someone." 

And I,  as the mother of these children, was just laughing. Laughing because obviously Bean's ears have heard some of that before, after all he knew what an a$$ referred to, and laughing because when I hear that phrase, I think nothing of it, but I am now thinking about how my 6 yr olds little mind had just put all of this together with a visual in his head of the chauffeur telling some stranger to "Kiss my a$$", and yes Bean I must concur, that is disgusting!

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